1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 150 %, dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all of your cheques, write "for sensual
massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all
weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
5. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU
think."
6. Practice making fax and modem noises.
7. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and
"cc" them to your boss.
8. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."
9. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands
over your ears.
10. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green and insist that you "like it that way."
11. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Did you
hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
12. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
13. Ask people what gender they are.
14. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
15. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars
to see if they slow down.
16. Sing along at the opera.
17. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
18. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble the answers in a notebook. Mutter something about
"psychological profiles."
Jane Eliz|Blah Blah|Thinking Out Loud|Today's Song|