Assault with a limp weapon?

[RonOnGuitar]

This news article brought to mind the Black Knight scene in Monty Python's "Holy Grail"...







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Chicago Sun Times



Man severs own penis, throws it at officers



March 17, 2006



BY ERIC HERMAN Staff Reporter



Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them -- his penis.



Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody.



"We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.



Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik's penis Wednesday, sources said. He was listed in good condition Thursday, according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment further.