want a laugh?

[HKRockChick]

ok, this is not political, its humour... hahahahahaha ok, political humour, but its HUGELY funny



politicalhumor.about.com/...shisms.htm



Bushisms

Adventures in George W. Bushspeak



"Give me a chance to be your president and America will be safer and stronger and better." —Still-President George W. Bush, Marquette, Michigan, July 13, 2004



"And I am an optimistic person. I guess if you want to try to find something to be pessimistic about, you can find it, no matter how hard you look, you know?" —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 15, 2004



"I want to thank my friend, Senator Bill Frist, for joining us today. You're doing a heck of a job. You cut your teeth here, right? That's where you started practicing? That's good. He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me." —George W. Bush, Nashville, Tenn., May 27, 2004



"I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 25, 2004



"Like you, I have been disgraced about what I've seen on TV that took place in prison." —George W. Bush, Parkersburg, West Virginia, May 13, 2004



"My job is to, like, think beyond the immediate." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 21, 2004



"This has been tough weeks in that country." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 13, 2004



"Coalition forces have encountered serious violence in some areas of Iraq. Our military commanders report that this violence is being insticated by three groups." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 13, 2004



"Obviously, I pray every day there's less casualty." —George W. Bush, Fort Hood, Texas, April 11, 2004



"Earlier today, the Libyan government released Fathi Jahmi. She's a local government official who was imprisoned in 2002 for advocating free speech and democracy." —George W. Bush, citing Jahmi, who is a man, in a speech paying tribute to women reformers during International Women's Week, Washington, D.C., March 12, 2004



"The march to war hurt the economy. Laura reminded me a while ago that remember what was on the TV screens — she calls me, 'George W.' — 'George W.' I call her, 'First Lady.' No, anyway — she said, we said, march to war on our TV screen." —George W. Bush, Bay Shore, New York, Mar. 11, 2004

"God loves you, and I love you. And you can count on both of us as a powerful message that people who wonder about their future can hear." —George W. Bush, Los Angeles, Calif., March 3, 2004



"Recession means that people's incomes, at the employer level, are going down, basically, relative to costs, people are getting laid off." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Feb. 19, 2004



"The march to war affected the people's confidence. It's hard to make investment. See, if you're a small business owner or a large business owner and you're thinking about investing, you've got to be optimistic when you invest. Except when you're marching to war, it's not a very optimistic thought, is it? In other words, it's the opposite of optimistic when you're thinking you're going to war." —George W. Bush, Springfield, Mo., Feb. 9, 2004



"But the true strength of America is found in the hearts and souls of people like Travis, people who are willing to love their neighbor, just like they would like to love themselves." —George W. Bush, Springfield, Mo., Feb. 9, 2004



"In my judgment, when the United States says there will be serious consequences, and if there isn't serious consequences, it creates adverse consequences." —George W. Bush, Meet the Press, Feb. 8, 2004



"There is no such thing necessarily in a dictatorial regime of iron-clad absolutely solid evidence. The evidence I had was the best possible evidence that he had a weapon." —George W. Bush, Meet the Press, Feb. 8, 2004



"The recession started upon my arrival. It could have been — some say February, some say March, some speculate maybe earlier it started — but nevertheless, it happened as we showed up here. The attacks on our country affected our economy. Corporate scandals affected the confidence of people and therefore affected the economy. My decision on Iraq, this kind of march to war, affected the economy." —George W. Bush, Meet the Press, Feb. 8, 2004



"My views are one that speaks to freedom." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 29, 2004



"See, one of the interesting things in the Oval Office — I love to bring people into the Oval Office — right around the corner from here — and say, this is where I office, but I want you to know the office is always bigger than the person." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 29, 2004



"More Muslims have died at the hands of killers than — I say more Muslims — a lot of Muslims have died — I don't know the exact count — at Istanbul. Look at these different places around the world where there's been tremendous death and destruction because killers kill." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 29, 2004



"Then you wake up at the high school level and find out that the illiteracy level of our children are appalling." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 23, 2004



"Just remember it's the birds that's supposed to suffer, not the hunter." —George W. Bush, advising quail hunter and New Mexico Sen. Pete Domenici, Roswell, N.M., Jan. 22, 2004



"I want to thank the astronauts who are with us, the courageous spacial entrepreneurs who set such a wonderful example for the young of our country." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C. Jan. 14, 2004



"I was a prisoner too, but for bad reasons." —George W. Bush, to Argentine President Nestor Kirchner, on being told that all but one of the Argentine delegates to a summit meeting were imprisoned during the military dictatorship, Monterrey, Mexico, Jan. 13, 2004



"One of the most meaningful things that's happened to me since I've been the governor — the president — governor — president. Oops. Ex-governor. I went to Bethesda Naval Hospital to give a fellow a Purple Heart, and at the same moment I watched him—get a Purple Heart for action in Iraq — and at that same — right after I gave him the Purple Heart, he was sworn in as a citizen of the United States — a Mexican citizen, now a United States citizen." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 9, 2004



"And if you're interested in the quality of education and you're paying attention to what you hear at Laclede, why don't you volunteer? Why don't you mentor a child how to read?" —George W. Bush, St. Louis, Mo., Jan. 5, 2004



"So thank you for reminding me about the importance of being a good mom and a great volunteer as well." —George W. Bush, St. Louis, Mos., Jan. 5, 2004



"I want to remind you all that in order to fight and win the war, it requires an expenditure of money that is commiserate with keeping a promise to our troops to make sure that they're well-paid, well-trained, well-equipped." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 15, 2003



"See, without the tax relief package, there would have been a deficit, but there wouldn't have been the commiserate — not 'commiserate' — the kick to our economy that occurred as a result of the tax relief." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 15, 2003



"[T]he Iraqis need to be very much involved. They were the people that was brutalized by this man." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 15, 2003



"[T]he best way to find these terrorists who hide in holes is to get people coming forth to describe the location of the hole, is to give clues and data." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 15, 2003



"Justice was being delivered to a man who defied that gift from the Almighty to the people of Iraq." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 15, 2003



"This very week in 1989, there were protests in East Berlin and in Leipzig. By the end of that year, every communist dictatorship in Central America had collapsed." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Nov. 6, 2003



"[A]s you know, these are open forums, you're able to come and listen to what I have to say." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Oct. 28, 2003



"The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the — the vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Oct. 27, 2003



"[W]hether they be Christian, Jew, or Muslim, or Hindu, people have heard the universal call to love a neighbor just like they'd like to be called themselves." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., October 8, 2003



"See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don't attack each other. Free nations don't develop weapons of mass destruction." —George W. Bush, Milwaukee, Wis., Oct. 3, 2003



"Washington is a town where there's all kinds of allegations. You've heard much of the allegations. And if people have got solid information, please come forward with it. And that would be people inside the information who are the so-called anonymous sources, or people outside the information — outside the administration." —George W. Bush, Chicago, Sept. 30, 2003



"[W]e've had leaks out of the administrative branch, had leaks out of the legislative branch, and out of the executive branch and the legislative branch, and I've spoken out consistently against them, and I want to know who the leakers are." —George W. Bush, Chicago, Sept. 30, 2003



Got a Bushism?

Email it to politicalhumor.guide@about.com



"I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what's moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read the news themselves." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 21, 2003



"I'm so pleased to be able to say hello to Bill Scranton. He's one of the great Pennsylvania political families." —George W. Bush, Drexel Hill, Penn., Sept. 15, 2003



"We had a chance to visit with Teresa Nelson who's a parent, and a mom or a dad." —George W. Bush, Jacksonville, Florida, Sept. 9, 2003



"As Luce reminded me, he said, without data, without facts, without information, the discussions about public education mean that a person is just another opinion." —George W. Bush, Jacksonville, Florida, Sept. 9, 2003



"I'm a follower of American politics." —George W. Bush, Crawford, Texas, Aug. 8, 2003



"[T]hat's just the nature of democracy. Sometimes pure politics enters into the rhetoric." —George W. Bush, Crawford, Texas, Aug. 8, 2003



"We had a good Cabinet meeting, talked about a lot of issues. Secretary of State and Defense brought us up to date about our desires to spread freedom and peace around the world." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Aug. 1, 2003



"Security is the essential roadblock to achieving the road map to peace." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., July 25, 2003



"Our country puts $1 billion a year up to help feed the hungry. And we're by far the most generous nation in the world when it comes to that, and I'm proud to report that. This isn't a contest of who's the most generous. I'm just telling you as an aside. We're generous. We shouldn't be bragging about it. But we are. We're very generous." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., July 16, 2003



"It's very interesting when you think about it, the slaves who left here to go to America, because of their steadfast and their religion and their belief in freedom, helped change America." —George W. Bush, Dakar, Senegal, July 8, 2003



"My answer is bring them on."—On Iraqi militants attacking U.S. forces, George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., July 3, 2003



"You've also got to measure in order to begin to effect change that's just more — when there's more than talk, there's just actual — a paradigm shift." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., July 1, 2003



"I urge the leaders in Europe and around the world to take swift, decisive action against terror groups such as Hamas, to cut off their funding, and to support — cut funding and support, as the United States has done." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 25, 2003



"Iran would be dangerous if they have a nuclear weapon." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 18, 2003



"Now, there are some who would like to rewrite history—revisionist historians is what I like to call them." —George W. Bush, Elizabeth, N.J., June 16, 2003



"I am determined to keep the process on the road to peace." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 10, 2003



"The true strength of America happens when a neighbor loves a neighbor just like they'd like to be loved themselves." —George W. Bush, Elizabeth, N.J., June 16, 2003



"We are making steadfast progress." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 9, 2003



"I'm the master of low expectations." —George W. Bush, aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003



"I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things." —George W. Bush, aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003



"I recently met with the finance minister of the Palestinian Authority, was very impressed by his grasp of finances." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 29, 2003



"Oftentimes, we live in a processed world — you know, people focus on the process and not results." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 29, 2003



"I've got very good relations with President Mubarak and Crown Prince Abdallah and the King of Jordan, Gulf Coast countries." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 29, 2003



"All up and down the different aspects of our society, we had meaningful discussions. Not only in the Cabinet Room, but prior to this and after this day, our secretaries, respective secretaries, will continue to interact to create the conditions necessary for prosperity to reign." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 19, 2003



"First, let me make it very clear, poor people aren't necessarily killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn't mean you're willing to kill." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 19, 2003



"We've had a great weekend here in the Land of the Enchanted." —George W. Bush, Albuquerque, N.M., May 12, 2003 (New Mexico's state nickname is "Land of Enchantment")



"I think war is a dangerous place." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 7, 2003



"We ended the rule of one of history's worst tyrants, and in so doing, we not only freed the American people, we made our own people more secure." —George W. Bush, Crawford, Texas, May 3, 2003



"We've got hundreds of sites to exploit, looking for the chemical and biological weapons that we know Saddam Hussein had prior to our entrance into Iraq." —George W. Bush, Santa Clara, Calif., May 2, 2003



"I don't bring God into my life to — to, you know, kind of be a political person." —George W. Bush, interview with Tom Brokaw aboard Air Force One, April 24, 2003



"You're free. And freedom is beautiful. And, you know, it'll take time to restore chaos and order — order out of chaos. But we will." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 13, 2003



"Perhaps one way will be, if we use military force, in the post-Saddam Iraq the U.N. will definitely need to have a role. And that way it can begin to get its legs, legs of responsibility back." —George W. Bush, the Azores, Portugal, March 16, 2003



"Now, we talked to Joan Hanover. She and her husband, George, were visiting with us. They are near retirement — retiring — in the process of retiring, meaning they're very smart, active, capable people who are retirement age and are retiring." —George W. Bush, Alexandria, Va., Feb. 12, 2003



"[The Space Shuttle] Columbia carried in its payroll classroom experiments from some of our students in America." —George W. Bush, Bethesda, Md., Feb. 3, 2003



"And, most importantly, Alma Powell, secretary of Colin Powell, is with us." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 30, 2003



"The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorize himself." —George W. Bush, Grand Rapids, Mich., Jan. 29, 2003



"When Iraq is liberated, you will be treated, tried and persecuted as a war criminal." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 22, 2003



"One year ago today, the time for excuse-making has come to an end." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 8, 2003

[droolymutt]

Quote:

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A West Texas girl, just like me." —George W. Bush

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hahahaha - perfect....!

[HKRockChick]

here are his stupidest, apparently...



The Stupidest Things President George W. Bush Has Ever Said

10) "Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream." —LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000



9) "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family." —Greater Nashua, N.H., Jan. 27, 2000



"I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here." —Waco, Texas, Aug. 13, 2002



7) "I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport." —Washington, D.C., Oct. 3, 2001



6) "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.'' —George W. Bush, Townsend, Tenn., Feb. 21, 2001



5) "I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe — I believe what I believe is right." —Rome, July 22, 2001



4) "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." —Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002



3) "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." —Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000



2) "They misunderestimated me." —Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000



1) "Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?" —Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000



My personal favourite?



"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."

[droolymutt]

Damn....







I think we're misunderestimating him, Debbie....

[droolymutt]

Dubya puts food on his Family....:

[ED1G]

Paul

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[droolymutt]

Quote:

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"I'm the master of low expectations." —George W. Bush, aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003"

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Quote:

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"I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here." —Waco, Texas, Aug. 13, 2002

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Wow.





What a brilliant man....

[4teetoo]

"Then you wake up at the high school level and find out that the illiteracy level of our children are appalling."