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Time for some Musician Bashing!

 
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bbchris
Princess Of Hongkong


Joined: 01 Jan 2002
Posts: 11441
Location: Hong Kong

PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2003 11:00 am    Post subject: Time for some Musician Bashing! Reply with quote

Q: What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A: A tattoo.



Q: What's the difference between a banjo and an onion?

A: Nobody cries when you chop up a banjo.



Q: What do you call a drummer in a three-piece suit?

A: "The Defendant"



Q: What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

A: Saliva.



Q: What do call a guitar player without a girlfriend?

A: Homeless.



Q: What's the similarity between a drummer and a philosopher?

A: They both perceive time as an abstract concept.



Q: What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?

A: You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.



Q: What's the definition of a minor second interval?

A: Two Soprano Sax players reading off the same part.



Q: What's the difference between an opera singer and a pit bull?

A: Lipstick.



Q: Why do people play trombone?

A: Because they can't move their fingers and read music at the same time.



Q: What's the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?

A: You can tune a chainsaw.



Q: What will you never say about a sax player?

A: "That's the sax player's Porsche."



Q: How many guitar players does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: 13 - one to do it, and twelve to stand around and say, "Phhhwt! I can do that!"



Vibrato: Used by singers to hide the fact that they are on the wrong pitch.



Q: How can you tell when a singer is at your door?

A: The can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.



Q: How do you get two bass players to play in unison?

A: Hand them charts a half-step apart.



Q: What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A: A vocalist.



Q: How do you get a guitarist to play softer?

A: Place a sheet of music in front of him.



Q: What do you throw a drowning bass player?

A: His amp.



Q: How many vocalists does it take to screw in a bulb?

A: None. They hold the bulb over their head and the world revolves around them.



Q: How many drummers does it take to screw in a bulb?

A: None, they have machines for that now.



Q: What's the last thing a drummer says before he gets kicked out of a band?

A: "When do we get to play MY songs?"



:rollin





|Blah Blah|Thinking Out Loud|Jane Eliz|
|Talk Soup |

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maitre ka fu



Joined: 09 Jun 2002
Posts: 114

PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2003 11:36 am    Post subject: HAHAHA Reply with quote

:laugh



Q: How many vocalists does it take to screw in a bulb?

A: None. They hold the bulb over their head and the world revolves around them.



that just about sums it all up...hahah



classic



:aua

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bbchris
Princess Of Hongkong


Joined: 01 Jan 2002
Posts: 11441
Location: Hong Kong

PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2003 11:42 am    Post subject: Re: HAHAHA Reply with quote

Hi MKF!!



I kind of like this one:



Q: What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

A: Saliva.



Hey pop over to this thread and listen to the sound links I posted. Tell me what you reckon.





|Blah Blah|Thinking Out Loud|Jane Eliz|
|Talk Soup |

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NumberOneWorld



Joined: 28 Jun 2002
Posts: 85

PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2003 1:33 pm    Post subject: Re: HAHAHA Reply with quote

Quote:
Q: How many vocalists does it take to screw in a bulb?

A: None. They hold the bulb over their head and the world revolves around them.




hey!! i resemble that remark...:gl

Mb

thewireweb

NumberOneWorld

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Scott Time



Joined: 29 Dec 2001
Posts: 111

PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2003 3:04 pm    Post subject: Musician bashing ? Reply with quote

I would never ... :aua

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rod steel global



Joined: 27 Jun 2002
Posts: 636

PostPosted: Wed Jul 16, 2003 5:35 pm    Post subject: Re: Time for some Musician Bashing! Reply with quote

Quote:


Q: What do call a guitar player without a girlfriend?

A: Homeless.






:wgrin :laugh :aua



more true than you belive... hahahaha

®od

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