"Iraq began destroying those missiles they don't have over the weekend. See, President Bush may be the smartest military president in history. First, he gets Iraq to destroy all of their own weapons. Then he declares war." ‹Jay Leno>
"Many of our soldiers are stationed at Camp Coyote just south of the Iraqi border. This is how you know we have a strong army, when you can actually tell your enemy exactly where your camp is and what its name is." ‹Jon Stewart>
"President Bush agreed today to allow more weapons inspectors in Iraq. As I understand he has 250,000 of them ready to go." ‹Jay Leno>
"The president boasted at the top of his press conference that we have the support now of Britain and Spain for our attack on Iraq. You know, when you want to make it perfectly clear to the world that you're not an imperialist, the people you want in your corner are Britain and Spain." ‹Bill Maher>
"President Bush announced tonight that he believes in democracy and that democracy can exist in Iraq. They can have a strong economy, they can have a good health care plan, and they can have a free and fair voting. Iraq? We can't even get this in Florida." ‹Jay Leno>
"President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the American voters to become president, either." ‹David Letterman>
"We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem. It's in North Korea." ‹Jon Stewart>
"As we head to war with Iraq, President Bush wants to make one thing clear:
This war is not about oil, it's about gasoline." ‹Jay Leno>
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