How to write good!

bbchris · Posted: Fri Jul 08, 2005 8:06 am Post subject: How to write good!

1... Avoid alliteration. Always.

2... Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3... Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)

4... Employ the vernacular.

5... Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

6... Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

7... It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

8... Contractions aren't necessary

9... Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

10.. One should never generalize.

11.. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said:

"I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

12.. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

13.. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

14.. Profanity sucks.

15.. Be more or less specific.

16.. Understatement is always best.

17.. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

18.. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

19.. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

20.. The passive voice is to be avoided.

21.. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

22.. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

23.. Who needs rhetorical questions?

ED1G · PIGGY MOONRUST Joined: 31 Oct 2002 Posts: 2644

I am crap at writing.... as you can see on the post card Chris!!

Paul

Steve Iannetti · GweiLo Joined: 24 Jan 2002 Posts: 697

Ha ha..... :lol

Damien Project · Joined: 04 Jan 2003 Posts: 257

yes...call me a smart @#%$ but i think you should have written "How to write well"

just bustin' chops...i amthe king of crap writing

Mark

www.soundclick.com/damienproject

yidneth · A Spanish Fairytale Joined: 12 Jun 2002 Posts: 780

LOL

i promise firmly i do it better in my native language LOL

but will take advice