TOP TEN REASONS FOR BEING YOUR NATIONALITY!!

bbchris

This is all in jest, forwarded by a silly friend of mine. Please feel free to make additions & suggestions. Especially for missing nationalities!!!

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TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH

1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay

2. You get to eat disgusting food like snails and frog's legs

3. If there's a war you can surrender really early

4. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4.

5. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's

countries

6. You can be fat & ugly and still become a famous film star

7. Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride

8. You don't have to bother with toilets, just shit in the street

9. People think you're a great lover even though you're not

10. Striped shirts and berets are always in fashion

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN

1. You can have a woman president without electing her

2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it

3. You can call Budweiser beer and get away with it

4. You can be a crook and still hold elected office

5. If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything

6. If you can breathe you can get a gun

7. You can invent a new public holiday every year

8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care

9. You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy"

10. You can think you're the greatest nation on earth

TOP 11 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH

1. Two World Wars and One World Cup, doo-dah doo-dah

2. Warm beer

3. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket

4. You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events

5. Union jack underpants

6. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer

7. You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world

power

8. Bathing once a week-whether you need to or not

9. Ditto changing underwear

10. Beats being Welsh

11. Or Scottish

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN

1. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes

2. Unembarrassed to wear fur

3. No need to worry about tax returns

4. Glorious military history ... well, till about 400 AD

5. Can wear sunglasses inside

6. Political stability

7. Flexible working hours

8. Live near the Pope

9. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair

10. Country run by Sicilian murderers

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH

1. Glorious history of killing South American tribes

2. The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees

3. You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits etc.

4. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans

5. Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real

thing

6. Honesty

7. Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid,

tight clothes and risk your life in front of bulls

8. You get to eat bulls' testicles

9. Gibraltar

10. Supported Argentina in Falklands War

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN

1. Chicken Madras

2. Lamb Passanda

3. Onion Bhaji

4. Bombay Potato

5. Chicken Tikka Masala

6. Rogan Josh

7. Popadoms

8. Chicken Dopiaza

9. Meat Boona

10. Kingfisher lager

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING WELSH

1. Ten! You've got to be having a laugh, haven't you?!?!?!?

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH

1. Guinness

2. 18 children because you can't use contraceptives

3. You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road

4. Pubs never close

5. Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in the second

Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend that you

can't have sex with a condom on

6. No one can ever remember the night before

7. Kill people you don't agree with

8. Stew

9. More Guinness

10. Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the morning after a bout of sectarian violence.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN

1. It beats being an American

2. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its

capital to the ground

3. You can play hockey 12 months a year, outdoors

4. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its

capital to the ground

5. Where else can you travel 1,000 miles over fresh water in a

canoe?

6. A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her

popularity ratings will rise

7. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its

capital to the ground

8. Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover your house in their skins

9. "Own-an-Eskimo" scheme

10. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its

capital to the ground

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AUSTRALIAN

1. Know your great-grand-dad was a murdering bastard that no civilized nation on earth wanted

2. Fosters Lager

3. Dispossess Aborigines who have lived in your country for

40,000 years because you think it belongs to you

4. Annihilate England every time you play them at cricket, even though you don't understand the rules either

5. Tact and sensitivity

6. Bondai Beach

7. Other beaches

8. Liberated attitude towards homosexuals

9. Drinking cold lager on the beach

10. Having a bit of a swim and then drink some cold lager on the beach

ED1G · PIGGY MOONRUST Joined: 31 Oct 2002 Posts: 2644

Ha ha Chris

We have mastered the warm beer bit..... its now cold!!

Paul

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MIKE BURN

Quote:
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

HAHA!

MIKE

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bbchris

Hey! There's no top ten reasons for being Chinese?!?!?!

I'll just make some up now

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CHINESE

1. You can eat with chopsticks and laugh at other nationalities who can't even use them properly.

2. Gambling is part of the culture.

3. Crispy Wonton

4. You go a beautiful brown colour when you sunbathe...

5. You KNOW you are the greatest nation on Earth.

6. You can eat ANYTHING! Anything that moves.

7. And whilst you eat anything, you can make sucky noises, chew & talk with your mouth open and then spit the bones onto the floor.

8. You can impress your friends with your latest model of mobile phone.

9. You can ask everyone how much salary they earn, how much is their rent and other personal financial questions.

10. There's just so MANY of us.....

ED1G · PIGGY MOONRUST Joined: 31 Oct 2002 Posts: 2644

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CHINESE

1. You can eat with chopsticks and laugh at other nationalities who can't even use them properly.

2. Gambling is part of the culture.

3. Crispy Wonton

4. You go a beautiful brown colour when you sunbathe...

5. You KNOW you are the greatest nation on Earth.

6. You can eat ANYTHING! Anything that moves.

7. And whilst you eat anything, you can make sucky noises, chew & talk with your mouth open and then spit the bones onto the floor.

8. You can impress your friends with your latest model of mobile phone.

9. You can ask everyone how much salary they earn, how much is their rent and other personal financial questions.

10. There's just so MANY of us.....

I like this Chinese thingy!!

Paul

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bbchris

hahahaha It makes me laugh Paul but it's so true. Especially #9! Newcomers to HK all get a bit freaked when their colleagues ask "So how much is your salary?" "Where do you live?" "How much rent do you pay?" Of course they don't mind telling you their financial stuff! hahahahahha

Wait till Debbie or someone else who lives in HK sees this list! hahahahaha :banana

ED1G · PIGGY MOONRUST Joined: 31 Oct 2002 Posts: 2644

Ha... the salary thing where I work is like top secret... everyone is on different rates.... so people are always trying to get it out of one another.... rates etc!! :lol

Iam on the higher end of course

Paul

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HKRockChick · No More Peas! Joined: 25 Nov 2003 Posts: 1513

ok, I got some more for being Chinese...

Bonus point: you can pick your partners pimples on the MTR

extra bonus point: you can buy children's clothes even if you are 45, and still get em on.

extra extra bonus point: you can eat all you want and still remain skinny as hell, hey whats a bit of cholesterol when you look like a million bucks.

bon-bon-bonus: You have the most beautiful skin on earth...

:ww

Gotta think about the Indian ones...

ED1G · PIGGY MOONRUST Joined: 31 Oct 2002 Posts: 2644

Yeah Debbie... its always made me wonder... the eat all you like and still be slim???? .... I wish it was the same for us..... My weight goes up and down like a yo yo.... it goes down when I start to feel guilty, then back up when iam in my " what the heck mode!! " haha :lol

Paul

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HKRockChick · No More Peas! Joined: 25 Nov 2003 Posts: 1513

I've seen couples picking each others zits on the MTR.

gruesome.

:ww

hahahaha, yes the eating thing. Well, they dont spit on the floor, they merely spit the bones and stuff on the table next to their plates...

This is the one place in the world where you can REALLY enjoy your food and make a COMPLETE mess of the whole area around your plate! :boink

HKRockChick · No More Peas! Joined: 25 Nov 2003 Posts: 1513

10) you can cover up your skinny bow legs or knock knees by billowing yards of pantaloons or dhotis.

9) you can easily cross into different countries and still get by on highly accented English, but English none the less.

you can walk into your neighbour's house anytime of the day without an appointment or knocking - if the doors are open - just yell, yoohooo, anyone home...

7) if someone dies in your family your whole road will cook for you for a week.

6) your teeth are white without needing clear-strips...

5) McDonalds better get their act together if they want to become Indian.

4) Once you get married you can let it all hang out, nobody expects you to be attractive any more.

3) When you worship dozens of Gods, its easy to be tolerant towards a few more.

2) calculators??? who needs calculators. Pish.

1) you get to wear a sari and show your great fat belly and back under-bra pouches, no matter how fat you are.

bbchris · Posted: Sat Jul 10, 2004 2:59 am Post subject: Re: hahahahaha

hahahahahaha Debbie!! Good point about the clothing fashion. It is bizarre to see women in their 30s wearing "Hello Kitty" stuff!!! I'm not sure that the skinniness thing still exists though. Slimming companies have mushroomed - ah they ARE bad - they told ME that I needed to lose 10 pounds to become slender. hahahahahahahahhahahaahaha F**k that! Breasts are IN for me!! hahahahahahahaha

Shaun is most offended by #7 7. And whilst you eat anything, you can make sucky noises, chew & talk with your mouth open and then spit the bones onto the floor. He says he loves my family dearly but really all that stuff is a bit too much..... (They don't spit bones on floor as we go to nice restaurants but they do the chewing/talking bit!!)

Edited by: bbchris at: 7/10/04 5:18

bbchris

Debbie!! The top 10 reasons for being Indian are HYSTERICAL!! hahahahahahhahahaa :aua

I didn't know about the calculator part?!? hahahahaha

HKRockChick · No More Peas! Joined: 25 Nov 2003 Posts: 1513

yeah - they're all sposed to be great maths brains. dunno what happened to me :bawling

bbchris · Posted: Sat Jul 10, 2004 3:40 am Post subject: Re: hahahah

hahahhahahahaa I see Debbie!!!

Hey a friend just emailed me this one for Mainland China:

Top 10 reasons for becoming part of mainland China:

1 - Learn Mao in his native tongue.

2 - Courteous tank drivers.

3 - Can look forward to next Cultural Revolution.

4 - Streamlined judicial process.

5 - No more arguments about how many children to have.

6 - Block leader knows best.

7 - Chance to practice Qi Gong in secret locations.

8 - Government censors to provide all the news you need to know.

9 - No more annoying campaign advertisements.

10 - 1.5 billion people can't be wrong.