Internet Love.....

droolymutt · Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2004 10:39 pm Post subject: Internet Love.....

I'm curious about this...

(Not judgmental - just curious...)

Can people who have never met physically fall in love?

Through this bb Stuff?

Is it wrong if that happens?

Or is it ok, because it's just a "textual" thing.....?

Is it wrong for people to share their deep feelings so publicly?

And what if they connect with someone on the Internet more clearly than they do with their "real-life" partner?

Is that wrong?

I'm really curious about this bb stuff. I see so much going on, and I wonder how it's changing our World...

axella · Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Posts: 148

Well, right now, I think internet romance is great, because I picked up a job the other day doing a wedding video for a couple who met in a chat room.

So I guess it's possible.

As far as sharing feelings publicly, I'm a much better communicator this way than I am in person, for some odd reason. And my grammar is better, too.

And when you're a Moderator, you can wake up the next day and delete the feelings you publicly shared the night before, when you came home drunk.

And on the internet, I can be a 6' tall, double-D blonde.

droolymutt · Posted: Sun Oct 24, 2004 12:01 am Post subject: Re: Internet Love.....

lolol.....

You're a Doll, Axella.....

(At least here in Cyber-Space.....)

You're funny. And Smart. You Make me laugh....

You're a Charmer....

axella · Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Posts: 148

Thank you, Drooly. You ain't so bad yourself.

bbchris · Posted: Sun Oct 24, 2004 1:36 am Post subject: Re: Internet Love.....

As humans love/connection is a basic human need so if we get that online, we are more prone to think 'better' of that person when we meet them for real. You know how they say 'love is blind'! hahahahahahahahahaha

However proximity is the highest importance in a relationship. Do you mean internet love between two people who have never met, Drooly? Are you trying to tell us something? :laugh

I would imagine that these 2 people if they've never met, are fulfilling something that is lacking in their real lives, perhaps they have low self-confidence in themselves and feel safer behind a wall of words? Perhaps they are in unhappy marriages and the internet love is a 'safe' way to have an affair.

At the end of the day, people do what they do because it's the best thing they can see for themselves to be doing at that moment in time.......

droolymutt · Posted: Sun Oct 24, 2004 6:04 pm Post subject: Re: Internet Love.....

It's just something I wonder about....

I have reservations about simple "textual" relationships, yet I believe they can be very good things....

When it's only Words, somehow thoughts and feelings can be expressed more clearly....

Without the visual or aural distractions of 3D....

And? When it's just text? You have time to think, and choose your words more carefully...as opposed to the need for immediacy when face to face....

I don't know ... - I just wonder...

axella · Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Posts: 148

Well, being able to choose words carefully is definitely a good thing.

I know there have been times where I've been talking (in person) to someone and I've been nervous, blurting out something completely asinine. Well, I suppose that's pretty much most of the time.

Friends of mine have chat room romances going. I keep asking one of them, "Have you met her yet?", because he and this woman are always sending SMS messages to each other (she lives in the same town as he does). But he always says, "No". I think he's afraid the reality won't live up to his fantasy.

I hate chat rooms. Seriously. I don't visit chat rooms at all. Can't ever see myself doing so, either.

bbchris · Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2004 5:54 am Post subject: Re: Internet Love.....

I don't like chat rooms either. Interesting that Axella that the person wouldn't actually want to meet them in person to shatter any 'illusions'. I think we all have illusions when we fall in love.......

Funny Feeling · Joined: 16 Oct 2003 Posts: 47

Quote:
Can people who have never met physically fall in love?

Through this bb Stuff?

You know two that did, and are very happy together now...In fact you recently posted a song for them, and they loved it

You're a good guy Drooly

Just call me Honest Abe

bbchris · Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2004 6:43 am Post subject: Re: Internet Love.....

Funny Feeling, I think Drooly is referring to 2 people who have never met.

As far as I know Robbie & Karen met in the flesh and fell in love properly after meeting although they obviously liked each other or else "why bother meeting up"!! and had a real offline wedding?

Funny Feeling · Joined: 16 Oct 2003 Posts: 47

Ahhh ok, I read the post wrong, lol

Well, they met on-line tho, and the rest is history!

btw, it's ok to call me boog :boink

Just call me Honest Abe

RonOnGuitar · Joined: 08 Jan 2003 Posts: 1916

Very good & interesting questions, Drooly!

Before the internet there were pen-pal romances for a long, long time. So the basic concept is nothing new.

As far as some people being able to communicate better - I think the cyber-barrier actually encourages that. Probably along the lines of the confessional booth where a person has minimal human contact to offset the embarrassment of fessing up to all manner of no-nos.

Oddly enough, it seems a sad human pattern to have difficulty in talking deeply with those closest to us while- at the same time - many people will share just about anything online with someone they've never even met.

I think there are both benefits and pitfalls in it all. For people who may not be able to get support or encouragement elsewhere, it can be literally a lifesaver. e.g. their are some rare diseases/illnesses. Those who connect online with others who share the same condition can share thoughts and resources. Otherwise they may never know about things like a treatment option that even their doctor hadn't heard of yet.

On romance; I've heard that a lot of people enjoy "online dating" - which, near as I can figure, means going to the same places online while IMing one another. That doesn't hold much appeal for me .

But getting back to the penpal analogy -

I think if people spend a lot of time getting to know each other and honestly sharing of themselves, it could lead to something serious in real life. Just as with penpals.

A drawback, in my thinking at least, is that with penpals people have time to read and digest the communique. Then, to reply, a person has to sit down, get out pen & paper, thoughtfully compose, find a stamp & put the letter in the mail.

With the internet, communication is immediate. You lose the advantages - and pleasures - of the luxury of time to compose & digest deep thoughts and of having something tangible in your hand, sent by the beloved.

Of course, I tend to be a bit old-fashioned in the area of courtship, hahaha!

bbchris · Posted: Mon Oct 25, 2004 2:06 pm Post subject: Re: Internet Love.....

I've never had a penpal - I find the idea quite mad as it's easier to keep in touch via email. Then again, I'm one of the rare ones in our group of friends who actually sends postcards. I like them cause you are sending pictures. I do sometimes send picture letters to people without computers - I write a bit then insert a photo, write some more, insert another photo etc.

I've gone quite off the subject that Drooly asked about ....

DreamTone7 · Joined: 20 Sep 2002 Posts: 2571

"At the end of the day, people do what they do because it's the best thing they can see for themselves to be doing at that moment in time......."

Disagree with you on this part, chris. People will quite often do that which they know is destructive for various reasons...many times emotional ones. But this is a bit off track from the original question.

A relationship is a relationship...whether it is over the phone, by email, by chat-room...whatever. If what chris says about love being partly about illusion (and I don't completely agree with this), then is it not easier to maintain that illusion when not having ever met in person?

Yes, drooly...people can fall in love over the net...in my opinion. Can't say it's ever happened to me...but then again, I'm not in the market for it.

RonOnGuitar · Joined: 08 Jan 2003 Posts: 1916

Quote:
I've never had a penpal

How about if you were parted from someone special for awhile - did you exchange snail mails ever (e.g. love letters).

I remember some that I kept for some years after it was all over, lol. (The lass probably used mine to line the bottom of the bird's cage - hahaha!)

What nice memories they kept alive.