"I didn't want to wear my contact lenses in the water."
Comment made by a Bondi Beach, Sydney, lifeguard explaining why, when a woman fell off an air mattress and began drowning, he rescued the air mattress instead of her. Apparently his eyesight, without his lenses, is so bad that he couldn't tell the difference between her and a mattress. He said the mattress "had all the bumps in the right places." He's been fired. A passing motorboat driver rescued the woman.
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