Why did the chicken cross the road... some new takes...

[DreamTone7]

I would not mind dying in the rain after reading this...just not alone.

[HKRockChick]

FOUCAULT

Neither dialectics, as the logic of contradictions, nor semiotics, as the logic of communication, can explain the intrinsic intelligibility of why the chicken crossed the road. Now I think back on it, what else could it have been that caused the chicken to cross the road, but power?



DERRIDA

There is nothing beyond the chicken.



LACAN

The chicken represents what we lose in entering the world of language - the fact the message will always be crossing to the other side of the road, that what we want will always be out of reach because of the fact that we speak.



SPIVAK

Because the chicken was outside in the egg-producing machine.



MICHELLE FINE

Before we answer that question we have to interrogate our own chickenness.



BOURDIEU

The chicken crossed the road every day. It was a dangerous thing to do all the time. We say the chicken had developed a bad habitus.



MAO

Because power comes from the waddle of a hen.





And the political….



GEORGE W BUSH

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.



COLIN POWELL

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.



HANS BLIX

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.



JOHN KERRY

Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road I am now against it!



RALPH NADER

The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.



PAT BUCHANAN

To steal the job of a decent, hard-working American.



RUSH LIMBAUGH

I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross.



MARTHA STEWART

No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.



JERRY FALWELL

Because the chicken was gay --- isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we Boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."



DR SEUSS

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.



ERNEST HEMINGWAY

To die in the rain. Alone.



MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.



GRANDPA

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us

the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.



BARBARA WALTERS

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.



JOHN LENNON

Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.



ARISTOTLE

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.



KARL MARX

It was an historic inevitability.



RONALD REAGAN

What chicken?



CAPTAIN KIRK

To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.



SIGMUND FREUD

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.



BILL GATES

I have just witnessed eChicken2004, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook and internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.



ALBERT EINSTEIN

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?



BILL CLINTON

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?



AL GORE

I invented the chicken!



THE BIBLE

And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was much rejoicing.



COLONEL SANDERS



Did I miss one?

[sethr]

DROOLEYMUTT

The chicken crossed the road to see some...



Boobies!



Can I say that?



I dare you to ban me...or the chicken.

[sethr]

BBCHRIS



Hahahaha. How tall was the chicken?

[sethr]

LARREE



I can cross the road faster than any chicken, with my ankles duct taped together.

[HKRockChick]

hahahahahahaha



too funneeee

[bbchris]

hahahahahahahaahaha I love the BBChris & Larree descriptions!! hahahaha

|Blah Blah|Thinking Out Loud|Jane Eliz||Talk Soup |

[droolymutt]

MIKE BURN:



The Chicken couldn't understand our simple 800-page, 9-Language Technical Manual.









SETH:



The Chicken can't do 12-bar Blues in A.







BBCHRIS:



Oh - that chicken is very Sweet, - I love him - he's so cool...









DEBBIE:



Oh yes.... - I love Chickens who realize what an Idiot Dubya is.....







SMACKERS:



Please love me? I'm Nice......!

















ha.





I could continue.... - but I won't...!

[DreamTone7]

DROOLYMUTT



...to drool on the other side. (Boobies!!!)

[lolson]

lol

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Let there be ®ock

on Interconnected on AcidPlanet with lolson @ home