Really Weird Story about Time Travel....

debbie mannas · Joined: 30 Sep 2002 Posts: 1352

Gosh, i gotta meet this guy

- d

tv.yahoo.com/news/wwn/200...00007.html

'TIME-TRAVELER' BUSTED FOR INSIDER TRADING

Wednesday March 19, 2003

By CHAD KULTGEN

NEW YORK -- Federal investigators have arrested an enigmatic Wall Street wiz on insider-trading charges -- and incredibly, he claims to be a time-traveler from the year 2256!

Sources at the Security and Exchange Commission confirm that 44-year-old Andrew Carlssin offered the bizarre explanation for his uncanny success in the stock market after being led off in handcuffs on January 28.

"We don't believe this guy's story -- he's either a lunatic or a pathological liar," says an SEC insider.

"But the fact is, with an initial investment of only $800, in two weeks' time he had a portfolio valued at over $350 million. Every trade he made capitalized on unexpected business developments, which simply can't be pure luck.

"The only way he could pull it off is with illegal inside information. He's going to sit in a jail cell on Rikers Island until he agrees to give up his sources."

The past year of nose-diving stock prices has left most investors crying in their beer. So when Carlssin made a flurry of 126 high-risk trades and came out the winner every time, it raised the eyebrows of Wall Street watchdogs.

"If a company's stock rose due to a merger or technological breakthrough that was supposed to be secret, Mr. Carlssin somehow knew about it in advance," says the SEC source close to the hush-hush, ongoing investigation.

When investigators hauled Carlssin in for questioning, they got more than they bargained for: A mind-boggling four-hour confession.

Carlssin declared that he had traveled back in time from over 200 years in the future, when it is common knowledge that our era experienced one of the worst stock plunges in history. Yet anyone armed with knowledge of the handful of stocks destined to go through the roof could make a fortune.

"It was just too tempting to resist," Carlssin allegedly said in his videotaped confession. "I had planned to make it look natural, you know, lose a little here and there so it doesn't look too perfect. But I just got caught in the moment."

In a bid for leniency, Carlssin has reportedly offered to divulge "historical facts" such as the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden and a cure for AIDS.

All he wants is to be allowed to return to the future in his "time craft."

However, he refuses to reveal the location of the machine or discuss how it works, supposedly out of fear the technology could "fall into the wrong hands."

Officials are quite confident the "time-traveler's" claims are bogus. Yet the SEC source admits, "No one can find any record of any Andrew Carlssin existing anywhere before December 2002."

Weekly World News will continue to follow this story as it unfolds. Keep watching for further developments.

Edited by: debbie mannas at: 4/22/03 2:25:05 pm

bbchris

hahaha I read this the other week! Very funny stuff! hahahahahaha He's my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandson btw

debbie mannas · Joined: 30 Sep 2002 Posts: 1352

hahahahaha

:gl

Jake Cepheus · Joined: 30 Jun 2002 Posts: 155

Time travel really is a fascinating concept, especially the implications of an individual from the future disturbing the past. I like Douglas Adams' explanation the best, that it all fits together like a big puzzle, all the time-lines merging into a big sort of mosaic of alternate realities.

So who likes Doctor Who? :lol

The Doctor's been very high on my list of favorites since I was just a pup.

Jake

www.1sound.com/jakecepheus

www.mp3.com/jakecepheus

bbchris

You know what Jake? Well I've never ever seen an episode of Doctor Who!! :bawling

Jeff Stoll 2004 · Joined: 05 Jul 2002 Posts: 118

Who?

debbie mannas · Joined: 30 Sep 2002 Posts: 1352

Yeah, time travel is fascinating.

I've heard of Dr. Who, long long long ago, but dont remember seeing him...

Cheers

Jake Cepheus · Joined: 30 Jun 2002 Posts: 155

Quote:
You know what Jake? Well I've never ever seen an episode of Doctor Who!!

You can come over and watch reruns at my house.

Jake

www.1sound.com/jakecepheus

www.mp3.com/jakecepheus

bbchris

Thanks Jake! When you win the lottery, please send me over a first-class ticket :banana

droolymutt

Hi, Sleepea.......

Mikeyj69 · Joined: 13 Dec 2002 Posts: 630

I think the story is true.

I'm actually a time traveller from the year 2018.

You see, the Christmas number one in that year will be Roll A Fat One by Britney Spears and Tom Jones (sporting a zimmer frame!)

It's such a crappy version of the song, so I travelled back in time to write and perform it first. :laugh

Mikey J

Getmemusic.com

Getmemusic.com Messageboard

debbie mannas · Joined: 30 Sep 2002 Posts: 1352

How about some other predictions for the future, all ye returned time travellers?

Hiya Drooly! Any predictions?

Gym now!

:gl